Dumbledore's Army's Secret Santa
by The Hope Lions
Summary: When Umbridge outlaws Secret Santa at Hogwarts, Dumbledore's Army fights back. Shenanigans ensues.


AN 1: So over the past few years I've been doing a Secret Santa fic exchange in whichever fandoms I've been writing for. Basically you request a fic, get pared with someone, write a fic, and receive a fic from whoever was paired with you. It's lots of fun. Of course this year I've been informed that just posting a story with the information for the fic-exchange is against the site rules, and so I have decided to instead offer up a fun little story of our favorite character's having a secret santa to inspire us. Enjoy!

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"Alright everyone, that's enough for today," Harry told the others helping Neville back to his feet. Neville was definitely Harry's most improved student, but that did not mean Neville wasn't still getting knocked down every meeting. He was improving though, and Harry had confidence that Neville would continue to improve. Harry knew Neville's parents had been aurors, and the boy didn't really lack ability, just confidence. From the grin on his face whenever his partner fell as well, Neville was finally gaining the confidence he needed.

"Wait a minute there Harry," one of the Weasley twins (Fred Harry was pretty sure) called out. The students came to a stop, a number of them grinning to hear what the twins newest method of "torture Umbridge" would include.

"Earlier today Umbridge posted a new rule saying that all forms of gift exchanges, commonly known as Secret Santa, was against school rules. Apparently she hates Christmas," George informed the gathered students. A few of them had already heard about the new rule, but those who hadn't had the same look of sheer beffudlement on their face that everyone did upon hearing the rule. Why would anyone hate Christmas so much that they would try to shut down Secret Santa?

"Well of course she hates Christmas Georgey-boy," Fred laughed his brown eyes sparkling with mischievous amusement. "Everyone knows that villains always hate Christmas. Christmas is happiness and joy. To villains it's a patronus."

George winked at Harry, "And since our lovely teacher hasn't taught us the patronus charm yet, Fred and I decided that to protect ourselves from the soul-sucking of Umbridge we need to use Christmas as our shield."

"And since Secret Santas are supposed to be secret anyways, there is no need for Umbridge to know we're breaking any school rules."

"Not that we've ever been concerned about breaking school rules before."

"But we're turning over a new leaf, aren't we George?"

"Right you are Fred."

The two twins bantering back and forth always caused those who didn't know them to feel a little bit dizzy. Once everyone's minds expanded to fit the chaos that was the Weasley twins, they began to grin. The twins looked over at Harry who just shrugged.

"I'm already a lying, schizophrenic maniac," Harry pointed out. The Daily Prophet had made sure to remind everyone of this that very morning, as if somehow the holidays might make people more sympathetic to their once-hero. "Might as well encourage rule breaking."

"Line right up, line right up," Fred called after transfiguring a piece of parchment into a conductor's hat. "Whoever you pick is the person you're gifting to. Remember it's supposed to be a secret. No more than a couple galleons per person, but remember, chaos has no price tag."

Harry should have known that the Weasleys' last rule would be their real reason for conducting the Secret Santa. Their idea of spreading holiday cheer was actually just getting everyone to prank everyone else. Fred began the whole thing only a few hours after they picked. It was during dinner that a huge cry burst out from the Slytherin table. One of the Slytherin first years had been eating some meatloaf when suddenly his meatloaf was turned into an ear.

As if that wasn't bad enough, the meatloaf/ear decided to stand up and tap dance across the table. A few of the Slytherines screamed, but from the Hufflepuff table there was only giggles. The boy whose meatloaf went rogue had been bullying Dumbledore's Army's youngest badger, and boy did he regret it.

Others were inspired by the idea. By the end of the week almost every member of Dumbledore's Army had received their present in the form of a prank on their enemies. Umbridge had been the primary target of course. So far she'd been levitated, constipated, had diarrhea, grown a trunk, and had a squadron of penguins invade her office. The other teachers seemed not to notice any of the accidents that befell her, though they did attempt to catch the people who'd replaced Snape's shampoo with a bottle of olive oil.

Draco Malfoy was another popular target. Whoever had Harry decided to make their teacher proud by paying Dobby to follow his former master around and sing Christmas carols. The best bit was that Dobby had been paid in socks, and had therefore left a trail of them as he followed Draco around. This meant anyone could then follow them and watch as Draco got irritated. A few times he actually tried to attack Dobby, but the house elf was far better than Draco, so by the end of the day the boy was simply wandless and miserable.

It was the best gift Harry had ever been given.

Even those students not involved in Dumbledore's Army loved the chaos, especially because the Hufflepuffs ensured that the pranks didn't go too far. When one student transformed all the stairs into slides, a group of Hufflepuff seventh years levitated people up levels to their classes. (They refused to levitate Umbridge, however, and so earned detention.)

That detention was where things got weird. The dozen Hufflepuffs were writing lines, luckily with normal quills, when suddenly a whole hoard of cats came running into the classroom. Hannah Abbot's Secret Santa had been struggling to think of something, but when he found out that Hannah had earned detention, he decided to put his love of cats to good use. Hogwarts housed hundreds of cats, and they were all attracted to the smell of catmint which permeated through the Defense classroom. Umbridge had no idea how to get rid of the smell, or the cats, and so she just released the students and hauled up in her office. When she finally came out the next day the smell and almost all the cats were gone. (One cat was still there, however, staring at Umbridge with dark eyes surrounded by the oddest facial markings-ones that resembled square glasses.)

"You know I'm pretty sure this isn't how Secret Santa is supposed to work," Hermione pointed out to the Weasley twins the day after 'The Great Cat Incident of '95'.

Fred and George exchanged a smile before turning back towards her and saying in unison, "Well good, because then it's not breaking the rules."

END

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AN: 2

I hope you've enjoyed and are now looking for a Secret Santa of your own. If so check out my profile for the Secret Santa I'm running. You'll write one fic, and then someone will write a fic for you. It's guaranteed to be as much fun as a hoard of cats in Umbridge's office!


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